saves the dayy :); rocks tonic juice magic

let me take this awkward saw
and run it against your thighs
cut some flesh away
i'll carry this piece of you with me
because all i can say tonight
is that i hate you
but it would be all right
if we could see each other sometime
if i could somehow make you mine
and if not i'll take my rusty spoons
and dig out your blue eyes
i'll swallow them down to my colon
they're gonna burn like hell tonight
because you're beautiful
just not on the inside
light comes from within
and your beaming eyes dont seem so bright
my heart is on the floor
why dont you step on it?
when i think of all the things you've done
boardwalks and breaking waves
made our saturdays
i'd buy you lemonade right now
if you were here
but then i'd throw it in your face
and i'd listen to you cry
and i'd remember how i miss
our nights under ocean skies
you and i are like when fire
and the ocean floor collide

it's sadd to be true and be fooled by you



forgive and forget.
it's one of the greatest virtues one can ever possess.
the thing is sometimes you forgive, but you cant forget.
the truth is, you havent fully forgiven if you cant forget it.
it’s so difficult sometimes when i wanna put everything behind and move on and be nice.
but some things jus cloud my mind.
the hurt, pain, tears, sleepless nights, emotional damage so bad, and the ppl who caused them.
it burns inside, it makes me angry, fills me with disgust and detest.
and it wouldnt go away.
perhaps, i dun wanna let it go.

forget past hurts and reach forward to love.
don't lose faith in love.

hmms got that from somewhere. rather interesting ehh? hahas. anywae. had cip at sungei bulohh this afternoon againn. wahh DAMN late larr. hahas. paiseh. overslept. (: did reforestation. qt funn. hahas. had hands-on on diggin a hole. how funn is funn. hahas. sighh. this weekend damnn tiringg larr. sooo many stuff to complete. and ironically next week is gonna be SUPER slackk!! wheeee. school ends at 11 due to teachers day celebration. yay. then thurs it's chinese mock. i dont take chinese so it's a free dayy!! yay. but sighh pw meeting tmr. i betta go finish my workk tonight. yepp. laters! (:
to me you are the light from a light bulb that breaks sometimes
and the tender warmth inside is released into my life


wheee! saves the day's firefly rawks my socks inside out upside down! (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIRN! (:



wahh i sound damn naggy. this is like the third time im wishingg her alr. hahas. oh and not forgetingg the retarded robber in my class. his birthday is on the 27th. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEWKIN! hahas. so many ppl's bdae this wk! (: hmms. caught bourne supremacy (spellingg?) wit class ppl. uhh mellrr michelle dogg yewkin and xiangxin! hahas. it's not badd. some scenes were reallie excitingg! and the police in the movie chased after matt damon in BMWs and mercedes? like wadahell larr. ahhas. then all start crashingg. damn useless. hahas. and he can actually survive in a pathetic taxi which looked like a crumpled metal mess after the whole chase. hahas. BEST. (:

sighhs im damn shagged. no idea why. hahas. tmr have sungei bulohh. zzzzz. damn outta the way larr. bedok to kranji. expedition. haha. then the whole weekend is fully PACKED. bestt. hmms think i betta go slp now. eyes closingg! yupp ciaoo. (:
hmms having break now before pw starts. hahas. steal time to blogg! but then it's like eeeyerrr!! wot a HORRIBLE date to blogg! -shudders in disgust- hahas. it's the birth of a fuckin bastard. like super gross?! but it's like the cursed dae of my life also larr. got back my term 2 human geog CAs. wahh one word: BEST! fuckin straight Fs lars. zzzz. damn saddd. sighh.

anywae. funn fair lim dared me to chew half a panadol jus now while walkin to comp lab fo gp. and i did it!! hahas. dunnoe if im outta my mind or sth. but anyhows got 2 bucks for fufilling the dare. -grinns- so my lunch jus now was like free? hahas. hmms think i gotta runn soon. laters.
EVERCLEAR; wonderful
i close my eyes when i get too sad
i think thoughts that i know are bad
close my eyes and i count to ten
hope it's over when i open them

i want the things that i had before
like a star wars poster on my bedroom door
i wish i could count to ten
make everything be wonderful again

hope my mom and i hope my dad
will figure out why they get so mad
hear them scream, i hear them fight
they say bad words that make me wanna cry

close my eyes when i go to bed
and i dream of angels who make me smile
i feel better when i hear them say
everything will be wonderful someday

promises mean everything when you're little
and the world's so big
i just dont understand how
you can smile with all those tears in your eyes
tell me everything is wonderful now

wheeee!! nice songg. -grinns- it's like so innocent. (: hmms anywae it's only part of the song. so yea. im pretty addicted to songs by SAVES THE DAY. hahas. dunnoe why. thanks to funn fair lim lars. (: lalalla. off i go. got lotsa workk to mug for. sighs.

-yawns- jus realise i gonna have like a reallie busy week ahead. sighs. uh..

monday; some S cube seminar the whole day, hence no lessons!! (:
tuesday; urban geog human test
thursday; market structure essay test + pw block period
friday; differentiation test
saturday; sungei bulohh againn

wahh BEST damn packed. some more next week is like week 9 alr?! after the hols will be promos. scarryy. i reallie gotta hurry mug alr. -determined look- hahas. (:

havent you heard that i'm gonna be okay



wheeee! (: caught AVP wit joyce and lydia on fridae. predators rawk my socks mans! -grinns- uhh i forgot to add. they only rawk when their masks are on. hahas. cos they look super hideous lars. i hate aliens cos they drool too much. (: anywae. predators look damn cool too! niggas wit dreadlocks. cool eh? hahas. oh wells. tho the movie is a lil short it's not badd. (: wanta catch collateral soon. -nudges MEEELLLLLRRRR!- hahas.

thurs was like damn horrible. gotta rush pw written report first draft lar. only slept at like 330am? BESTT. luckily fridae kinda slack. hahas. oh yar. shichi yewkin and dogg DAMN annoyin larr!! urghh how dare they pangseh me! we sorta agreed on watchin AVP tog one. me and dogg even stayed back for the two jokers lars. BESTT then they all say go home. waddahell! zzzzz. oh wells. i've got dogg's dkny watch wit me over the weekend. serves him rite. hahas. (: hee. then sth nice happened while i was waitin for joyce in the library! happy happy. hn shld noe. ((: -hops arnd-
MICHEAL BUBLE; how can you mend a broken heart

i can think of younger days
when living for my life
was everything a man could want to do
i could never see tomorrow
but i was never told about the sorrow
and how can you mend a broken heart?
how can you stop the rain from falling down?
how can you stop the sun from shining?
what makes the world go round?
how can you mend a this broken man?
how can a loser ever win?
please help me mend my broken heart
and let me live again
i can still feel the breeze
that rustles through the trees
and misty memories of days gone by
we could never see tomorrow
no one said a word about the sorrow
and how can you mend a broken heart?
how can you stop the rain from falling down?
how can you stop the sun from shining?
what makes the world go round?
how can you mend this broken man?
how can a loser ever win?
please help me mend my broken heart
and let me live again


(:

MICHEAL BUBLE rawks my socks inside-out! wheee. (:



hahas. totally love his songs now lars. esp track 5 frm his album. hahas. noe im a lil slow but oh wells i jus gotta hear it todae lar kae. thanks to melllrrr! hahas. she was like sayin, "xinn can swop my cd wit ur md? cos im dozing off listening to all jazz." you shld see the ginna look in her lars. damn funnie. so yupp. that's how i got acquainted wit his songs! hahas. reallie damn soothingg lars. (: damn nicee. and she's gonna lend me! wheee! (:

hee. went for night studie. was rather productive larr. condiserin i havent been doin alota work recently. urghh damn screwed lars. blardie busyy! sighhs. had mc on tues. felt pretty sick. must be cos i trained the mon even tho im sick. hahs. anywae ended up slping the whole dae larr. the medicine makes me damn drowsy!! zzzzz. hahas. (:

rite. i betta be off now. damn tired!! ciao.

I WANT MY SAMSUNG E700A!! (:



wheee! finally finish uploading all my pics. got lotsa them! those taken while all of us were wasted last wk. then some taken in schh and pics frm yesterdae's sungei bulohh cip. hahas.

the birthdaes; 36 onwards
the school; 250 onwards
the nyaa (new albumm!!) hahas
zzzzz. im allowing emotions taking control over me againn. no i cant. no wayy. dogg says i cant. ron said that too. everyone's tellin me the same thingg. i gotta be firm. fuck off bastard. stop irritatin me wit ur lingerin presence. stop disgustingg me wit all ur wimpy behaviour. stop promoting ur damned relationship wit Her. fuckin do me a favour and dont walk past my class please. thanks. i hate the sight of you. i hate you.

i hate YOU.

yay mangrove planting at sungei bulohhh!! (:



hahas. spent the whole dae at sungei bulohh wit the nyaa ppl. had funn takin LOTSA pics!! (: twas some trainin as facils for some primary kids naturalists camp in dec lars. hahas. we were supposed to plan the camp or sth and earn cip hrs. yupp. met at like 8am in the morning at kranji mrt! BESTT. that's like 26 stations away frm my hse larr. hahas. then walk and walk to sungei bulohh. blardie ulu i'd tell you!! zzzz. hahas.

hmms settled down for briefin then went thru the camp once. wahh the $2.80 lunch is damn horrible lars. zzzzz. ahhas. hmms had a few imterestin activities. was like busy colourin away while the person-in-charge was talkin. hahas. wheee! planted mangrove wit melrr too! damn funn! twas a grreat experience i swear lars. (: basically had a wonderful dae seeing things which you dont getta see often. hahas. feel like a small kid lars. -grinns-

shall try to upload pics asap. have got lotsa them mans. (:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEM! (: hmms wonder if you getta see this. hahas.
and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RONN THE THAMBI ON THE 11TH! (: -huggs-
memories are elusive creatures, like butterflies. the more one tries to capture them, to put them on display, the more tangled one becomes in the net of one's remembrance.

-abraham issac



hahas. that quote's frm ABRAHAM'S PROMISE. dont forget i WAS a lit student kae. hahas. anywae. yea. was readin randomly frm the stack-load of lettas ppl wrote while waiting for my hair to dry last night before i can finally knock out. hahas.

there were like tonnes in sec1 frm various ppl. those childish, senseless utters. and wow i kept a diary back then! ahhas. wahh it's a wonder i still can write relatively well mans cos the way i wrote in that diary was simply atrocious. hahas. yea im serious. (: hmms then there were lettas in sec2. pretty amused wit the amt of frens i lost and gained thru the journey in jus a few years. sighh. oh wells. then came sec3. hahas. damn embarrassin lars. lettas written in sec4 shows a certain degree of maturity and things discussed got serious. sighh. mans i LOVE that silly girl of mine sooo much. ahhas. you noe who you are! reallie. nothing can be compared to her. we've been thru more than anyone else, even couples dont experience these trials and tribulations like we did. hahas. (: awww. feel like huggin her now. -huggs!-

ritee. then jc life was a whole new experience. it's sth i cant reallie describe but one thing i do noe is i learnt the most duringg this period in my life. considerin the fact that it's been only 8 mths plus. hahas. oh wells. jus feelin nostalgic lars. (:

was it something i did?



wahh BEST! had a mini bdae celebration at ron's place yesterdae. jus a grp of us hanging arnd his hse doing stuff lars. hahas. hmms there were me leen joyce lydia lisa steph dogg chingyu yucheng and mark. quite alot huh. hahas. all went into the pool cept for leen for a special reason. hahas. dogg damn lousy lars. dint jump into the pool when he lost me. zzzzz. hhaas.

anywae. bought him a mambo bag and a reallie funnie card. suits him anywae. the self-proclaim sexiest, hunkiest man roamin on earth. hahas. (: hope you like them! and not forgetting the ice-cream cake frm swenson's! went all the wae to parkway to get it lars.ahhss. betta appreciate it. (: hmms. got a bottle of absolute vodka and embarrassing shit happened lars. uhh luckily not as shit as melllrr's one! hahas. the girls were quite gone lars. as in me joyce and leen. (: crapping awayy. leen bestt. say wat take neoprints some more. hahas. that silly girl was the most gone one lar. hahas.

hmms. meeting ron later at parkway againn. sighh he's moving into the hostel this fridae. no more going-home and parkway buddy alr! sighhhs. ): laterss.
jojo; leave (get out)

i've been waiting all day for ya babe
so won't cha come and sit and talk to me
and tell me how we're gonna be together always
hope you know that when it's late at night
i hold on to my pillow tight
and think of how you promised me forever
(i never thought that anyone)
could make me feel this way
(now that you're here boy all i want)
is just a chance to say

[chorus]
get out, (leave) right now,
it's the end of you and me
it's too late (now) and i cant wait for you to be gone
'cause i know about her (who) and i wonder (why) how i bought all the lies
you said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

tell me why you're looking so confused
when i'm the one who didnt know the truth
how could you ever be so cold
to go behind my back and call my friend
boy you must have gone and bumped your head
because you left her number on your phone
(so now after all is said and done)
maybe i'm the one to blame but
(to think that you could be the one)
well it didnt work out that way

[chorus]

i wanted you right here with me but i have no choice you've gotta leave
because my heart is breakin
with every word i'm sayin
i gave up everything I had
on something that just wouldnt last
but i refuse to cry
no tears will fall from these
eyeee-eeee-eeees
ooooh, ooooh
get out

[chorus X3]

bad guys alwaes die



poof! everyone's out to watch the fireworks. sighh.
i like that; houston feat. chingy, I-20, nate dogg
WHOA!
i like that
i like that
girl freak that back


freakin addicted to this song! hahas. damn catchy lars. (: lalala.

she will be loved



wheee! blogg first before i snuggle into my bed! (: hmms. had a pretty busy and hectic week. lotsa tests lars. end up falling sick. sorta lars. sneezin a lil and had a slight fever. and BEST! kena sore throat after eating teppanyaki wit ron. hahas. oh wells. im feelin betta alr! -grinns- hahas. yay and finally there's long weekend! laaadidumss. (: wow it's been awhile since i last use that word! hahas.

went shopping wit lydia. tried a few skirts but like all dont suit me. saw this pair of retro-lookin shoes at exodus which is like DAMN nice?! hahas. anywae met melmet! yay found out sth which can make me puke inside out. BASTARD YOU MAKE ME SICK. aaahhhhh wadever. im irritated. but then again why should i? it's fuckin none of my business lar. zzzzzz.

yawns. im feelin drowsy after the medicine. yuppers. laters.
pretty amused wit the amt of ppl visiting my blog. hahas. it had doubled in fact. hmms maybe it's time for me to change to a new one? aiys dunnoe lars. blog-hopping a couple of minutes ago. found out that there's this someone undergoing the same kinda situation as me. hmms initially i couldnt reallie put my feeling down in words. now i sorta managed to. it's like i cant think straight. it's not exactly abt him lar kae. my world doesnt revolve arnd him. but it's more like a handful of stuff which kept me distracted. kae maybe im thinkin to much again. dunnoe lars.

BEST. i still owe tai homework and damn alota geog tutorials to go thru. hahas. this wk's gonna be reallie busy i think. sigh. lemme see.

monday; econs production and cost mcq test
tuesday; geog karst landscape drq test and napfa 5 items
wednesday; gp compre test, pw, math9233 re-test
friday; ceejay charity walk

wahh horrible. this is the most i can rmb. oh no not forgetting tmr's photo-taking. shit lars. my horrible hair. hahas. (:

everything will be wonderful someday



brilliant. jus went for a haircut. fringe became super short after a mistake cut. shit lars. i look different and weird now. hahas. and i still thot i could get a nice haircut for tmr's photo-taking. hahas. now im pretty screwed. hopefully tmr no bad hair day. oh wells.

love thy enemies
bless those who hurt you

first yay. did two good deeds this week. (: first was blood donation then was todae's flag day. hahas. not badd. tho i cheated duringg flag day again. hahas. wenta watch i, robot wit class ppl duringg the flag selling. hahs. but i tried to make up by workingg a lil harder after the movie lars. uhh tried swallowing every rejection more willingly too. hahas. damn talk cock.

second yay. jiang got me a bdae present! hahas. so now if he lied to me jus now he's in deep shit. cos the whole world (literally) noes abt it alr! -evil laughter- kae. third yay. my dad's reallie grrreat. passed him the ceejay charity card and taadaa within a day he helped me to collect like 30 bucks? (: he rawks lars. hahas.

by the wae im not turning holy or watsoever. hahas. jus felt that hating someone and turning your back against someone is so much easier than to try to accomodate them. but given my character i think my limit of accomodating a person is qt limited. hahas. so yea. i wish for being neutral instead. (:

happy thots conquer all painful miseries (:

did some soul-searching. yes again. hmms if only i believed in God. then i guess my decisions wont waver so much. or maybe i'll have a larger sense of security. sighh i dunnoe lars. decided to gather the fallen pieces of me and fixed them all up by myself. somehow felt that a piece of me had be taken away after those shit happened. took some time to recover. duringg the period of healing i was pretty fucked up and did reallie ridiculous nonsense. the whole reason being i was unable to let go. not that i can now. but im so gonna try. for myself. who gives a fuckin damn abt him. he can jolly well rot and die. im learning not to care. trying. learning. it's fuckin hard.

the so-called rumour is rather confirmed by more than one source. so that gives me the reason to believe wat is circulating in sch and call him a fuckin assholic bastard for lying to me. i did try to trust him. i jumped to his defence. but unfortunately he jus sucked wayy too much.

or maybe i shld give him a chance to explain if he wants to. but i hardly think he will. i doubt he'll even read this. furthermore i dont think i have the rite to demand an explanation anywae. the best i can do now is leave him alone. yes leave the painful miseries behind, get up on my feet and cont moving on. he shall be known as the bastard in my life now then gradually fade into distant memories.