wonder if you ever see me
and i wonder if you know i'm there
if you looked in my eyes
would you see what's inside
would you even care?

new feelings developed while the old ones fade. oh wells. :\ im alwaes entangled in unwanted crap.

new pics up again! :) took some frm liying's album.
the school; 125 onwards

had a pretty hectic and tiring week. orientation and all. going home as late as 11 everydae. and stealing time to nap during home tutorials. hahas. but it was definitely worthwhile cos i had never enjoy so much in my entire life! hahas. :) being a facil was the most exhilarating experience in cj i guess. noe lotsa new frens thru facil too. -grinns- shall update a lil! :)

mondae
it was quite chaotic and was pretty fed-up with things. oh wells. i did try my best but it's my first dae as facil. wat more can you ask frm. :\ mass dance wasnt screwed. thank goodness. :) bought my sch uniform. goodness! the skirt's like damn long lars. wenta far east and alter it with joyce. yay! :)

tuesdae
pretty uneventful. getta noe our classes. not badd. t11 get tog again as t12 now. still stuck with that renganathan tho. sighh. im worried for my econs. :\ hahas.

wednesdae
outdoors activity dae! damn funn! -wide grinn!- totallie enjoyed myself tho it was super tiring. but then i thot the dragon boating was betta during O1. class spirit lacking i guess. -shrugs- went long john's for dinner and had a small-scale mini food fight there. hahas. funn!! :)

thursdae
another uneventful dae. my ponning instincts still lingers. hahas. mass lectures bored the hell outta me so decided to pon! bwahah. :) met leen after sch to watch scooby doo 2. everyone betta heed my advice and stae awae frm that movie unless you have heaps of cash to spend. wah lauu!! waste my time only lars! poof! damn waste money also!! -growls-

fridae
finale dae! :) exciting. signed up volley and environmental society during the cca fair. hahas. im so gonna save the earth mans. :) sighs. was pretty excited and happie but the weather wasnt at all pleasant. oh wells. then came finale. led in the cheers for HUMILIS! the mungen family totallie rawks mans. :) hahas. did my bouncer duty with joyce and got bitched by one of the teachers. like wadever!! jus because we laughed too... hystericallie? damn outta pt lars. hmms. then did a reallie cornified ver of the mass dance with marcus. hahas. that hippo's been my dance partner since dae one of ffacil training. :) yay! after the finale is youth park! but this time one wasnt very funn. sighs. something's lacking again i think.

hmms. guess this lengthy entry pretty sums up my week. :) wearing new sch uniform on mondae! -excited- hahas.

new pics up! :)
the outings; 19 onwards

last outingg with the usual cj peeps. almost all turned up lar i guess. there were me leen joyce des kit mark ron and daryl. dinner at suntec then hang out at esplanade. finallie supper at clarke quay. it was super funn. :) the best outing so far this week. it was sadd tho only like mark and leen leaving cj. dunnoe why. sighhs. im beginning to feel paranoia eating me up inside as the hrs count down to mondae. mondae's definitely not a dae which i'll look forward to. imagine having to greet new unexpected faces and knowing damn well that close frens like leen and hn wont be arnd anymore. suddenly havingg this reallie bad feeling that hn and i are gonna drift like damn far. bigg sigh. :( somehow i dread changes and jus refuse to move on. damn paranoia. :( oh wells. shall find some excitment in facil then. mass dance on mondae! gonna run into the hall like some idiot. :\ hahas.

feeling rather outta place recently. tho my name still exists in my clique i dont feel myself being as one of them anymore. sth's missing i guess. my enthusiasm maybe? was still thinking even if i turn up for that meeting it wont make a difference anywae. god noes how that thot gets into my lil head. sighs. now they all got themselves a ring. i have none. oh wells. the feeling of being left out sucked big time somehow. but im used to it i guess. :\

hols coming to an end. a rather sad ending i would sae. ppl leaving and all. plus im supposed to studie my geog one lars. sigh. hopefullie things will get betta after sch starts again. yea stuff like studies and relationships with ppl. including things with him. hahas. :) this will prolly happen only in my dreams lars. :\

im confused. or shld i sae i dunnoe how im feeling now. sigh. hungry hungry. :( meeting ron for lunch now. good thing to have a fren living near you. hahas. yuppers. delifrance here i come!! -wide grinn-

if love isnt real, why do peple die for the lack of it?
if love isnt real, what is that unexplainable feeling you get inside?
if love isnt real, why is every book, film and song about it?
if love isnt real, why do we search for it our whole lives?
if love is real, why am i the only one who doesn't have any?

frreakingg tired! :) it was sentosa on mondae then facil training on tuesdae and wednesdae. had lotsa funn!! -beams- hahas. sighhs. but then im like sleep deprived now and mom's friggingg pissed with me for returning home late.

oh wells. im pissed too. dont ask why. :\

sighhs. im not happy. or maybe it's pms again. -shrugs- somebody help? :\

anywae.. new pics up.
the school; 90 onwards
the outings; 8 onwards

life's full of obligations. and somehow most of the time i find myself taking many things for granted. sighs. i was indeed living in a dream for the past few wks. finallie snapped back to the harsh reality when i realised that 'plastic dolls' are afterall the more sought-after category. or maybe not. faking will not take you far. oh wells. having second thots abt me liking him. maybe it's jus a terrible mistake to even show an interest in him. the reverse of love is hate. oh wells.. we shall see.

ramblings. :\

brrrr! was freezing my ass off on the wae to sch this morning lors. sigh. sucha nice weather to jus curl up in ur comfy lil bed and stae in there till the sun shines at ur lil ass. :) hahas. oh wells. ended up in sch afterall. :( pretty uneventful in sch todae. but it got betta after sch! :) wenta ps with leen liying and daisy. wanted to pool at paradigm but was freaking crowded. so end up watching mystic river. wonder how this flim got their awards frm mans. the plot's damn monotonous lar and it's obviously taken frm some novel. climax only came like 15mins before the movie ends? excitting!! :\ wat's worse. some chee-go-peh sat one seat awae frm me and start sticking his damnit smelly foot into my seat!! arghh. was like telling leen.. 'help me!! save me!!'. and wow. she glanced at that man and burst out laughing instead. :\ oh wells. then met jiang. hahas. he watched the same movie in the same cinema as us!! :) and sth reallie funnie happened to him. hahas. embarrassing to be exact lar. so shall be an angel and shant mention it! :)

max and daryl came down to meet us after the movie. ate the sinfully yummy waffle at gelare! :) then headed down to meridien to plae pool after joyce came to meet us. :) had funn there lars tho i kinda suck at it todae. sighs. wonder why..

sighs. dream world exist but it doesnt last, does it? the past few wks was an insane dream, wasnt it? infatuation or love? still figuring. endlessly questioning. helpp meee!! sighs. :( thot it felt like a slap rite into my face but oh wells.. ultimately i'll still get that slap. sigh. takling nonsensically again.

liking a person is very heart wrenching. i can know his likes, his habits. but his feelings towards me i can never figure out. you cant expect me a girl to ask him right?

ripped this off one of daryl's entries. the story is damn nice. oh wells.. :) click here for the full story. :)

thot the words in my blog looked 'claustrophobic'. hahas. so decided to free them and taadaa!! here's the new but not so new layout. :) been craving for the book 'kiss me, judas'. reading it for the second time. felt like a brat when i cant find it in the library that dae. dunnoe why i suddenly wanta read it again. hn and brenda were like giving me weird stares when i sae i find those explicit scenes in the book interesting. hahas. im not a perv lars. foreplay with a different flavour sounds interesting rite? hhahas. maybe to me only lars. oh wells. :)

argh.. my throat hurts. blame it on those tempting chocos lar. sighs. im feeling kinda sick also. :( oh wells.. many things seemed left unanswered and im freaking uncomfortable with it. thinking and worrying over nothing. dunnoe wat had gotten into my head lars. sighs. sensing an impending pms. hahhas.

my class 1t11 totallie rawks man. hahas. we all mass pon sch and went sentosa to plae beach volley. freaking funn!! :) hmms.. met leen at arnd er 11? dunnoe lar. was supposed to meet at 9 actuallie. hhaas. the both of us were lazy lar kae. had macs breakfast which was like super nice then finallie wenta meet the rest at siloso beach at nearly 12 and wow it rained. hahas. played volley till like 12 plus before kayaking. there was only more funn!!! -wide grinn- lesson learned was not to pair leen and me together when doing pair kayaking. hahhas. we lost count of how many times we got washed up the shore and needed help frm daisy and his fren lors. hahhaha. damn funnie. and the whole time we only noe how to scream for help and laugh. hahhahah. it was nothing but fun lars. ask those who went kayaking with us and you'll noe. :D

this sudden realisation hit me. im gonna be left behind alone in cj and im so gonna miss leen and hweengee. seriously have no idea how to survive my daes in cj without these 2. sighhs. leen understands my nonsensical jokes and laughs with me. she's reallie a wonder mans. and todae's outing made me realise that my life will be so mundane without her presence. hweengee's one special case. been thru thick and thin in the same sch for 3 yrs. simply inseparable. and now wat. ure telling me she's leaving for elsewhere? no wae!! im too dependent on her alr! -whines- sighs. there're jus too much to sae. this feeling of emptiness. lost and helpless. there's nothing i can do but to wish them all the best as they leave for another betta place. :)

sighs. dunnoe why im feeling liddat so suddenly. maybe cos the last 2 wks in cj with the first intake gonna end soon. sighs. time flies when ure having funn and savouring every ounce of it. :(